The Heart of Me

While existing in the earthly dimension, our task is to give birth to our essential self, this very I am that we have been since before time began. Unless we awaken the heart of our pure subjectivity, we will never be able to enter the realm of the soul.

The soul remains a great mystery - she manifests out of a meeting between individuality and universality, the consciousness of oneself and the consciousness of all-that-is. One with universal consciousness, she shines as the light of being that contains the pure wisdom of creation. In the plane of unconsciousness - caught between forgetfulness and awakening - her deepest purpose is to fulfill the ancient plan that she rediscover her eternal essence.

Who Am I?

Self-enquiry is the internalization of consciousness through the medium of the mind. Properly applied, self-enquiry can bring us to the threshold of pure subjectivity, but it lacks the power to awaken the whole experience of the soul. Through self-enquiry we may recognize our essence, but to become our complete self, we must evolve and expand within this essence beyond enquiry.

The traditional aim of self-enquiry is not to awaken the soul, but rather to realize her absence, either through identification with the all-pervasive self-of-all or the negation of the personal self. Such a misuse of self-enquiry is pure ignorance. As we attempt to transcend our personality through self-enquiry we should take care not to negate our soul as well, throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Our aspiration to merge with totality should not lead us into self-denial. If our self-enquiry results in identification with the universal self, it becomes a case of mistaken identity; we have confused our relative subject with the absolute subjectivity.

For self-enquiry to reveal our true identity, we must be free of both an ego-based perception of reality as well as the influence of strictly impersonal interpretations of enlightenment. We must neither dwell in a void of negative absence derived from the negation of our personal self, nor an illusion of omnipresence derived from identification with the universal I am. True self-enquiry points beyond both disidentification with the false personality and identification with the universal self to the essence of our individual existence, the heart of me.

The soul is not the universal self, and never will be, because her very creation implies a level of individuation. The realization of the self should not be confused with becoming the self, or suddenly realizing that one has always been that. To realize the self requires reaching unity with the supreme reality and not becoming that reality. The state of unity is a plane rich in diversity that contains infinite individual angles of perception, all existing within the unified whole.

The Light of I Am

To truly enquire into the truth of our existence is to investigate the very fabric from which consciousness is made - the light of I am. How do we know that we exist? How do we experience the sense of being alive as distinct from our psychosomatic reality? Isn't it through the innate knowledge of I am, the essence of creation? I am is indeed the radiance of the heart of the beloved, through which all beings can become conscious of their existence. The whole spiritual path points to the task of regaining this primordial knowledge of pure subjectivity. To seek our true self is to yield to the luminosity of the heart, in which the silent confirmation of our existence is eternally present as - I am that I am.

The Essence of Me

A tremendous maturity is needed to meet the essence of me within oneself. This maturity cannot be gained from the world, because the world has always conspired against the truth of me by fostering our addiction to the reality of objects for the sole purpose of disconnecting us from our true self. Unconsciousness strives to maintain itself as the status quo in the plane of ignorance. Sadly, our beautiful planet has become a haven for low intelligence. It is not by chance that so few individuals desire awakening, and even fewer who actually reach illumination. To awaken, we must first break through the deplorable state of collective amnesia.

An extraordinary spiritual sensitivity is needed to awaken the yearning for the self. Many seekers pursue the path to enlightenment, but most lack this sensitivity and grasp at goals that have no connection to the essence of me. Rare are those who can experience bliss just by being alone and savoring the taste of I am. Those who seek the essence of me are fond of solitude and silence, for in those spaces they can feel their me more deeply. One has to have a natural inclination towards deep intimacy with one's innermost existence. Awakening to the essence of me is a deeply personal realization, a true love affair with self. Only those who can feel the miracle of being me may drink the nectar of I am in the cave of their heart.

Awakening to Me

The axis around which our individual consciousness revolves is our innate sense of me. We could not function within our human identity without the inborn knowledge of me present behind all our experiences and psychological states. Who is the observer within us so intrinsic to our existence and understanding? Beyond his observational role, the observer possesses a sense of identity unrelated to any functions performed in the mind. The observer observes from his sense of me, not in itself an observer, watcher or thinker, but a pure reflection of the soul's being in the mirror of human consciousness. However, when we are unconscious, our me, although partially present, has no stability within the chaotic flux of the mind. The complete presence and solidity of our sense of me can only come through the awakening of awareness. An awakened me has a clear identity distinct from the movement of thought. Because it dwells in awareness, it gains a natural constancy of subjective presence. In our higher consciousness, awareness and me are one: awareness the amness of me, and me the I-ness of awareness, no longer separate in the soul who is integrated and whole.

Because me represents the individual awareness of the soul, awakening to me is a prerequisite for the awakening of the soul. Before the soul can awaken as the soul, she must awaken as me. Without me, the soul cannot be conscious of herself as the soul. Although me and the soul both represent our true identity, the soul is closer to the source, and me to creation. The soul is our original I am, and me her personal expression. To be realized, me must unite with the soul, who in turn must awaken through me.

Me is a more active principle than the soul, bringing the element of luminosity into her consciousness without which she could not realize herself. Even though existentially more primordial, without me, the soul lies eternally dormant in her unmanifested essence. I am is the original state, the samadhi of reality, and me the radiance of clarity and intelligence. I am is the absorbing consciousness and me the awakening consciousness. When me finally merges with I am, and awareness becomes absorbed in consciousness, the original awakened-absorbed-consciousness is met as the timeless ground of creation.

The Evolution of Me

A complex journey lies ahead of me from the state of forgetfulness to complete realization. Me begins this journey by enquiring into the essence of consciousness and supporting the awakening of awareness; afterwards, it assists the stabilization of awareness through the practice of self-remembrance. Me then reaches its own stability by its conscious abidance in and relative merging with I am.

As we evolve, me supports the realization of all the other states of awakening in different ways, often by either solidifying its essence or dissolving into the inner realm. From within the soul's existence, me expands to realize itself in a holistic manner as transparent me. Me supports our process of surrender and the realization of the transcendental state by identifying with the vertical absorption of awareness. Finally, me realizes itself fully through the samadhi of me and merges with the consciousness of the soul in the realm of absence.

The Dimensions of Me

Me is the living core of our individual consciousness, the stable ground of our personal angle of perception. From the awakened perspective, our existence can be likened to a tree rooted in the inner realm: the roots are the soul, the trunk pure me, the branches the conscious ego, and the leaves the arising thoughts. In our evolution towards becoming whole, we must fully embrace our multilayered identity. While an ignorant me remains only a by-product of thoughts, the pure me is self-evident, existing on a deeper plane than thinking. A self-effulgent presence, me knows itself directly by the grace of its abidance upon the consciousness of the soul, its existential foundation.

Out of the creator, manifests the soul. Out of the soul, manifests me. Out of me, manifests the observer, or conscious ego, the thinking center of the mind. Being a function of the mind, the observer does not have a constant presence, but only arises occasionally to serve as a conscious link between the pure me and the arising of thoughts. Although the observer has more continuity of attention than the subconscious me, only our pure me has real continuity and substance, for it is unconditionally present. Through the awakening of me, we transcend our fluctuating personality and solidify our fragmented self into our true identity. Me is in its essence divine, the face of the soul in creation. The supreme cause wills that it manifest as the luminous consciousness of sacred individuality, our very me.

The Seat of the Soul

Prior to her awakening, the essence of the soul resides deep in the heart. We can meet our me through awareness, being or intelligence, but in the heart we encounter the deepest, most direct and intimate core of who we truly are. Until the soul is met in the depth of heart, the essence of our true self cannot be actualized. For a human being lost in unconsciousness, the only remaining trace of light is preserved in the heart. The heart's essence is the seed of our future self. It can lie dormant for countless lifetimes, but at last it must awaken to fulfill its ultimate purpose and destiny.

Meeting Oneself

What could be more simple than being oneself? In our confused reality, the very simplest task of all is in fact the most challenging. Our mind has succumbed to such complexity, restlessness and chaos, that we are disconnected from the natural silence, serenity and well-being of our true nature. We are so identified with the mental and emotional impressions made upon us by external reality that we have actually become these impressions. Totally exteriorized from the abode of the self, we no longer know what it means to be who we are. We have invested too much energy in the mind and too little in the wisdom that lies beyond it.

We do not need to reach far for what we seek. It is so immediate and direct - the nearest - the self-evident knowledge of being self. One has to embrace the mind, becoming calm and clear, and in the purity of that silent presence, relax deeply into that very self. This is the only way out of despair, the only way to leave the unacceptable reality of the lost soul. Nothing is more urgent than meeting oneself - it must happen right now.

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