An Open Secret

Meditation is an open secret. Its essence is hidden to those who are ignorant, but clear to those who have passed through the gateway to pure subjectivity. To meditate is to abide in reality, anchored in the ground of existence. It is a natural state of spiritual sanity and integ­rity. The path of meditation is not any particular way; it is the only way — the pathless path to the heart of the now.

the meaning of meditation

The common conception of meditation bears no relation whatsoever to knowledge of the inner realm. Most people incorrectly assume that meditation is a mind-based activity involving concentration upon mental, aural or physical phenomena. Pure meditation, how­ever, is none of these performances — it is an entirely new dimension of existence and consciousness.

The original meaning of the term meditation was ‘thinking about’, suggesting some kind of conscious reflection, and did not refer to the reality beyond thought. To meditate was to use the power of the mind in a focused way to attain goals confined to the mental reality alone. To avoid associating meditation with deep thinking, some medita­tion masters used the term ‘contemplation’ instead of meditation. However, even the word contemplation, with its more mystical con­notations, still points to the mental realm. To contemplate is to reflect upon religious, sacred or spiritual objects. The word contemplation, therefore, also imperfectly reflects the reality of pure meditation.

Unfortunately, because language has been created by the col­lective mind, which dwells exclusively in the reality of appearances, it cannot convey the essence of pure subjectivity. Consequently, throughout history, mystics and spiritual masters of various tradi­tions have had to compromise, attributing uncommon meanings and explanations to common words, or otherwise inventing entirely new terms to try to communicate the true nature of meditation. So then, how to transmit the meaning of a completely new domain of being — the objectless realm of pure reality — to the ordinary mind, which itself cannot enter this reality? We have to go beyond words into silence to experience that to which all definitions and descriptions of meditation point: our very self.

sitting meditation

Meditation is a revolutionary withdrawal of the mind’s energy from thought to pure awareness and being; it is total attention given to the source of the now. Because the force of ignorance is so strong, we have to use special means to shift the balance of power within our consciousness so that the state of meditation can manifest. Sitting in meditation is the basis of meditation practice, the sitting posture itself symbolizing our complete dedication to the inner state.

Sitting meditation has a profound impact on both body and mind, tuning our entire psychosomatic existence into the essence of our being. Through the practices of concentration and relaxation while sitting, we gradually establish ourselves in the state beyond the mind. The birth of the inner state signifies a quantum leap in our existence, and sitting meditation is the ground upon which this conversion takes place.

from illusion to reality

The paradox of meditation practice is that even though it points beyond thought, prior to our awakening it remains entirely confined to the mind. The one who begins to practice is in fact indistinguish­able from the mind, for his essence lies dormant and his sense of self is completely identified with chaotic, compulsive thinking. How can that which is unreal, ignorant, false, and which itself must be transcended, attain reality? The saving grace of each meditator is his ‘minimum soul’, the trace of me that links him to the dimension of I am. This sense of me can be considered to be the minimum reality within the unreality of one’s unconscious self. By empowering his subjective presence, crystallizing the observer and establishing his existence in the state prior to thought, an adept gradually moves his sense of identity from illusion to reality.

the practice of meditation

Before we can open to the state of meditation experientially, we need to face the fragmented condition of our mind — its restless and unconscious nature that blocks us from recognizing the heart of pure subjectivity. Meditation is an essential tool to integrate our mind with consciousness, solidify our presence, transcend mechani­cal thinking and move our existence into the inner state. Our work changes and evolves as we grow roots in the inner realm and become more aligned with the natural state of meditation. However, to enter the dimension of meditation in a real way and establish oneself in the realm of objectless consciousness, a beginner has to cultivate inner discipline and commit to formal practice.

Sitting: Although meditation ultimately transcends any bodily point of reference, to enter the state of pure subjectivity we must center our dispersed existence in the strict form of sitting meditation. We move beyond the body through the body, and therefore must respect the state of our energy and the condition of our physical form, for they greatly influence the ease of our entry into the inner realm.

Sitting meditation should be practiced by assuming a stable posture in which one sits elevated on a pillow to help keep the spine straight. If possible, one should sit with the legs crossed and the knees comfortably resting on the ground. If one is not supple enough to cross the legs in one of the variations of the lotus posture, one should seek another sitting position that assures an erect spine and physical stability. The placement of the hands and fingers in mudras bears little significance and thus is not indicated here. We should not concern ourselves with too many details, for they only burden our meditation with mental constructs.

As we gain more mastery in the art of meditation we need not follow the above recommendations literally, but can sit in medita­tion in any comfortable position, even on a chair. However, prior to becoming completely one with the state of meditation, formal sitting holds significant benefits. To sit with the legs crossed and spine erect instantaneously activates alertness, opens energy flow, gener­ates inner strength, and offers solid, yet comfortable support for the physical body. The classical meditation posture exemplifies a perfect unity of relaxation and stability through which we can transcend bodily reference and enter the realm of being.

Time and length of meditation: There are no fixed rules regarding the length of each sitting, but in general, meditation should last up to one hour. One should certainly meditate daily, preferably in the morning and evening. Additionally, it is important to find time for a short meditation just before going to sleep in order to integrate the meditative consciousness with the subconscious mind.

Apart from daily practice, one must occasionally sit in the more concentrated form of silent meditation retreats in order to accumu­late more energy to establish oneself in the inner state or deepen the state already present. A retreat can be done alone or in a group.

During retreat one should sit between six to eight hours a day, and between sitting sessions, practice walking meditation to move the body and energy, and further integrate meditation with activity. The duration of a retreat can vary according to one’s internal needs, but a length of one, three, seven, ten or twenty-one days is particu­larly recommended.

Walking: Walking meditation is the first step in extending our meditative consciousness into daily life; it is meditation in action, or ‘living’ meditation. One can walk very slowly, quickly or just natu­rally. What counts is our internal concentration and ability to main­tain the state we have reached during sitting meditation in activity. If one is unable to cultivate self-remembrance or abide in the inner state while walking, one should practice mindfulness of each step or conscious breathing. The deepest expression of walking meditation is an unconditional abidance in the state of pure subjectivity that transcends the polarities of sitting and walking, repose and action.

Breathing: A meditator has to know how to breathe. The way we breathe is a reflection of our consciousness, a direct manifestation of our physical, psychological and spiritual state of being. When we are lost in the mind and disconnected from inner peace and harmony, our breathing is shallow and limited to the chest. The more deeply we abide in our true nature, the deeper our breathing becomes. Correct breathing takes place from the lower belly and involves a complete exhalation.

To balance our breathing we must drop our existence into the depth of being and become one with the breath. Often a certain open­ing and healing of the diaphragm is necessary to unlock our breath, for this is the place in the body where we are most likely to uncon­sciously store tension, fear, anger, and power issues. When con­tracted, the diaphragm does not allow our belly to expand enough for us to inhale freely or exhale completely.

The first step in our work with the breath is usually the practice of conscious breathing through which we bring relaxed awareness to our body and sense of being. It is essential to do this in a natural and comfortable way, for if we are too self-conscious we will become tense. To bring true consciousness to the natural act of breathing, we surrender our awareness to the breath; we do not try to control it from the place of the observer. To transform our breathing we have to merge with the breath on the level of our consciousness and existence.

Eyes open or closed: It is a matter of preference whether we sit in meditation with our eyes open or closed. Since we tend to leak consciousness through the eyes and become distracted by visual signals from our surroundings, the most common approach is to keep the eyes closed. The advantage of having closed eyes is that we have more energy to focus inside. The disadvantage, especially for a beginner, is that we daydream or fall asleep more easily. Another possible drawback of meditating with closed eyes is that we can develop an addiction to various states of bliss or quietude and may begin to perceive the outer world as a threat to our own private peace. From this point of view we can say that to meditate with open eyes is on some level more ‘real’, and a positive safeguard against spiritual escapism.

Meditation with open eyes generates more alertness and enhances our ability to integrate our inner experience with the external world. But in the final analysis, closing the eyes for meditation is more logical, because our aim is to withdraw attention from the seen to the seer. Closing the eyes gives us more force to dive deeper inside and merge with the inner realm. If a meditator is unable to internalize his whole consciousness with his eyes open, he may become stuck on the surface of the now. In such a case it is best to close the eyes to gener­ate more internal energy and establish the necessary depth of being. Alternating meditations with open and closed eyes can help maintain the balance between surrender to the inner state and the integration of that experience with consciousness of the outer world.

Ultimately, we should not restrict ourselves to a single approach, but remain flexible, adapting our practice to suit our present needs and natural tendencies. When we finally merge with the inner realm and begin to experience it as not separate from the outer realm, we realize that having the eyes open or closed actually makes no difference.

Directing attention: Our relative consciousness never ceases to grasp at objects, both external and internal. Due to this total instability, it is extremely difficult to experience real clarity and calm. The funda­mental questions for a beginner in meditation, therefore, are how to cope with the commotion of the mind and where to direct attention.

The physical inactivity of sitting meditation can cause the mind to become even more disturbed and chaotic than usual. The mind cannot bear the stillness, and responds to it by compulsively popu­lating the space of consciousness with endless thoughts. Any effort to control or repress this thinking only increases its intensity. Mind cannot be conquered by mind. By developing one-pointed attention we harness the mind’s energy so that it can be channeled towards an awakening to the non-referential state of being.

We can direct our attention in meditation in three ways: towards the mind’s activity, towards a single object of concentration, or beyond both, towards our subjective essence. By directing our attention towards the mind in vigilant self-observation we develop disidentification, understanding and awareness; by paying one-pointed attention to areas of our reality other than the mind, such as breathing or bodily awareness, we develop concentration, calm and mindfulness; by stepping directly out of the mind through the turn­ing back of our attention to our true center, we radically transcend concentration on mental phenomena in a sudden awakening to our fundamental awareness.

The practice of watching the mind, one of the universal methods of meditation, is the first step in transcending our habitual and uncon­scious identification with arising thoughts. Through this method we strengthen the position of the observer, creating a stable counterforce to the continuous stream of thoughts that invade our consciousness. The observer is the aspect of the ego responsible for bringing integ­rity to the functioning of our mind and linking us with the essence of our innate subjectivity. By watching arising thoughts yet remaining uninvolved, we create a space in our intelligence from which we can disidentify from our subconscious, instead of just thinking mechani­cally. However, although this approach is beneficial, it cannot bring us to the true state of meditation. It is a technique that serves only as a preparation for becoming more conscious, and at some stage must be transcended. Self-observation or detached watching cannot take us beyond the mental realm, because the watcher himself is a fac­ulty of the very mind he watches. It is only when the observer links himself to the essence of awareness that he gains the necessary depth and solidity to move out of the vicious cycle of thinking, identifying, observing, disidentifying and thinking again.

In the approach to meditation that emphasizes the development of one-pointed attention, relative awareness is trained to constantly focus on an object external to the mind to keep it from being dis­tracted and lost in thought. The practice of one-pointed attention is still a mental exertion confined to the mind, for attention is not awareness, but its functional expression.

To develop one-pointed attention we can initially practice conscious breathing, feeling how the belly rises and falls with each breath, or in a more advanced method, focus our attention on our inner space of abidance. Instead of working directly with the mind, we channel our attention towards conscious repose in being or the heart. Although we cannot fully pacify the mind in this way, we open enough space beyond it to experience a level of tranquility and immersion. By expanding into being, we become empowered to work with the mind in a much more efficient and conscious way.

While they are useful tools, watching the mind, cultivating mindfulness, or bypassing the mind by directing attention to areas of our existence other than awareness itself, do not allow us to reach true and abiding peace. To transcend the mind in a real way we have to illuminate it by giving birth to the center of awareness. A medita­tor who is spiritually mature should strive to awaken his essence beyond the mind from the very start, not paying indirect attention to an object of attention, but direct attention to its subject.

Indirect meditative techniques generate an energy of attentive­ness that acts as an opposing force to the mechanical mind, but their utility is limited. Due to their external orientation, they do not uncover the inner essence, and therefore cannot result in awakening. In contrast, direct work with awareness is based on self-knowledge and the complementary practice of self-remembrance. Direct work with awareness involves the cultivation of the state of self-awareness, and eventually leads to a permanent presence beyond the mind.

When the energy of our mind turns towards the original source of attention, we enter the domain of consciousness without content. The essence of the mind is not thought, but objectless attention, the core of our subjective existence. The birth of pure awareness allows us to shift out of the mind into the essential nature of our luminous presence, the entryway to the natural state of pure meditation. Unless we bring more consciousness to the mind and embrace it with the light of our presence, it cannot be transmuted into a force that is aligned with our spiritual awakening. The only way to pacify and transcend our mental agitation is to behold and embrace it from a level of existence deeper than the mind itself.

Pure meditation: Pure meditation is beyond the directing of attention to any particular area — it is an objectless state of being. Attention has to become absorbed in the depths of the now for the state of meditation to manifest; otherwise, it is the very thing that separates us from our positive absence. To embody the fullness of our abidance in the state of meditation we have to pass through the gate of pure subjectivity and submit our existence to the beyond. A meditator first moves beyond the mind by establishing his attention in the center of awareness, and then surrenders that attention by dwelling vertically in content-free awareness. Eventually, he surrenders beyond aware­ness by merging with being and actualizes the state of pure medita­tion, the natural absorption in existence.

Just sitting: The purest form of meditation practice is ‘just sitting’. The most sublime aspiration of a meditator is just to be, just to sit. Just sitting is at once a practice and our natural state of abidance in the now, for though it must be actualized through effort, it is intrinsic to each moment of being. By cultivating the mode of just sitting we attune our existence to the natural repose of reality as it is. In just sit­ting it is not our body that sits, but our awareness; our attention is at rest, absorbed in the vertical plane of pure being.

We practice just sitting by continuously returning to the condi­tion of ‘sitting mind’. We grow in our consciousness, establish a flow of unbroken presence, and drop our awareness into the depths of reality. The practice of just sitting involves an element of transpar­ent exertion through which the state of being can fully manifest and reach unconditional naturalness.

beyond the mind

A healthy attitude towards arising thoughts is essential to regain autonomy from the mind and awaken the state of meditation, for they are the main distraction in our effort to reach our deeper self. In meditation, we should neither indulge in thinking nor battle with the mind. Meditation is not an absence of thoughts, but a continuity of being undistracted by thoughts. As a thought arises, we neither accept nor reject it, for acceptance and rejection are energies linked to the mind, and therefore cannot take us beyond it. When we accept a thought, we fuel it with our involvement; when we reject a thought, we fuel it with our denial. The moment our me disengages from thinking, a thought cannot sustain itself and dissolves, for it has no energy of its own. We must, however, have a stable place beyond the mind to which we can anchor ourselves; otherwise, we will remain caught in a wheel of arising and disappearing thoughts towards which we must constantly cultivate our limited powers of non-identification.

In an unconscious person, consciousness recreates itself through psychological and phenomenal awareness. The mind cannot exist in emptiness. The moment it is faced with inactivity it generates bore­dom or falls asleep, but even then, it constantly dreams. No wonder it is so common to drift and daydream during meditation — the mind becomes stifled by stillness and seeks release through other outlets.

Although the cultivation of observation and the crystallization of attention are the essential means to go beyond the mechanical mind, they are not enough to transfigure the construct of our con­sciousness. Our consciousness has to become conscious of something other than thinking, other than observing, other than objectifying itself. We have to give it the ultimate object — its own subjectivity. In the same instant that we neither accept nor reject an arising thought, we must become aware of the pristine space that dwells at the root of the mind — awareness itself. The moment we pay total attention to our innate presence, the chain of thinking is broken and conscious­ness without content alone prevails.

Usually a beginner loses focus and by force of habit leaks his consciousness into thinking, objectifying his sense of me in the mind. However, whenever he returns, moment to moment, to the center of awareness and gradually anchors attention in pure subjectivity, the whole structure of his consciousness becomes centralized in being rather than thinking. By giving our consciousness the supreme object of our presence, we decondition it from pursuing external objects. As we gradually learn how to live through pure consciousness, our mind surrenders to its host, the ground of I am — the soul.

To stabilize the center of awareness does not mean that thinking stops entirely — a certain amount of thinking is a natural part of our human functioning. The correct relationship with thinking is estab­lished when our me becomes rooted in the essence beyond the mind. Here, the arising of thoughts is in harmony with our existence, the exalted consciousness of silence and presence. Thinking that takes place in an unbroken space of awareness is an exercise of clear intel­ligence, a positive expression of our meditative consciousness. While in the initial stages of practice we are engaged in a horizontal strug­gle between getting lost in the mind and returning to our presence, as our practice matures, the movement of thoughts no longer occurs outside of our essence, but is contained within pure awareness.

prior to the presence and absence of thought

To uncover the true nature of awareness demands a great deal of precision and sensitivity. For a beginner who is fully identified with the mind, a momentary gap in thinking is often translated as a medi­tative experience, for it is the closest thing to a feeling of peace he experiences. However, meditation is not grasping at the absence of thought, but abidance prior to both thought’s presence and absence in the domain of being and non-perceptional consciousness.

Though the observer may contemplate the interval between thoughts in the futile hope of discovering the nature of thought­lessness, he merely objectifies it as the seen. He perceives the non-existence of thoughts as a vacant space opening up in front of him instead of becoming vacant himself by watching nothing. To watch no-thing is awareness, wakefulness without a reference point.

The observer cannot capture consciousness unless he stops seek­ing it outside of his own existence. He must renounce his mental exertion and ‘stand still’ in awareness to discover his true nature — he must surrender to the very awareness from which he arises in order to obtain the supreme insight into his true self. Awareness is not found within the mind, for it is the background of both the thought and the thinker. It cannot be grasped by perception or reflec­tion; to know it is to become it.

the multilayered mind in meditation

Meditators are often confused about the relationship between arising thoughts, the role of the observer, and their meditative state. We can be clear on this matter only when we understand the multilayered nature of our consciousness and how it coexists with the ground of I am. Before we can reach a balanced understanding of the relation­ship between thoughts and the inner state, we must become con­scious of the various ways in which the mind operates during our meditation practice.

The mind is a living organism of intelligence that must maintain a complex relationship with the whole of our consciousness to retain its basic sanity. The capacity of the conscious mind to assist in medi­tation directly corresponds to the depth of our spiritual awakening. If we are totally lost in the mind it cannot possibly serve our evolu­tion into the state of meditation. To empower the intelligence of the mind so that it can become a transformative force in our conscious­ness, we must first realize our spiritual essence. Here, by ‘essence’ we mean the state of pure awareness; but if a meditator has reached a deeper awakening, ‘essence’ would actually signify the whole of the inner state, and ultimately the soul. The relationship between the essence of I am and intelligence is reciprocal. In our initial effort to enter the state of meditation, intelligence supports the growth of our consciousness and the awakening of the essence; through the actual­ized essence, intelligence gains the necessary power to integrate the entire mind with the inner state.

Since it is the conscious mind that bridges our unconscious self with our conscious abidance in the inner state, its role in the process of awakening is of paramount importance. It is the mind aware of itself that engenders the conscious sense of me — the observer — so fundamental to our inner growth into being and understanding. If the function of the observer is not activated, we cannot transcend our subconscious reality and enter the state of meditation. Only when this function has been fulfilled and our abidance in the inner realm is fully realized can we begin to surrender and merge the observer with universal consciousness.

To help us better understand the complex nature of the con­scious mind and its evolving role in our meditation practice, we will now describe the various ways it behaves in relation to both our essence and our subconscious reality. It must be noted that until the fifth stage, the meditator is still unawakened to his essence.

1. The conscious mind lost in the subconscious, or the subcon­scious alone: The basic condition of forgetfulness — attention is absent and one is lost in thought.

2. The conscious mind coexisting with the subconscious: One experiences a degree of presence within the mechanical activ­ity of the mind — thinking is divided between conscious and subconscious.

3. The conscious mind aware of the subconscious: One becomes mindful of mechanical thinking and the observer develops a sense of distance from the mind. However, unless one has awakened the center of awareness, and consciousness has been largely transformed, awareness of the subconscious does not put a stop to the momentum of the thinking mind. In spite of being aware of arising thoughts at times, a begin­ner still thinks constantly. Only when awareness has fully matured does the act of becoming conscious of the subcon­scious lead to the instantaneous cessation of thinking.

4. The conscious mind alone: One is fully present within the thinking process, yet unaware of the essence.

5. The conscious mind aware of the essence coexisting with conscious thinking: Awareness of the essence and conscious thinking occur simultaneously.

6. The conscious mind aware of the essence coexisting with subconscious thinking: The observer is connected to aware­ness of his essence while unfocused semi-conscious thinking takes place on the periphery of consciousness.

7. The conscious mind aware of the essence becomes aware of the subconscious: Similar to the third stage, but here the meditator already abides in awareness, so there is more power to drop thinking and surrender the mind.

8. The conscious mind aware of the essence and consciously think­ing fully surrenders to the essence: While consciously thinking, one renounces all thinking and surrenders to the essence.

9. The conscious mind aware of the essence alone: One’s intel­ligence abides in pure awareness and the mind stops. This state can occur on two levels: on the lower level, the observer is still separated from his essence and the ego remains the primary experiencer; on the higher level, the observer is merged with the inner state and his consciousness of I am becomes universal.

A meditator can be said to have reached the mature state of medi­tation when he experiences any of the last five modes of conscious­ness. Although to be lost in the subconscious is a relatively negative experience, minimal subconscious movement is a natural part of the functioning of the human mind, and therefore acceptable, as long as one abides firmly in the inner state and is able to instantly return to conscious presence and surrender excessive thinking. Still, there is no excuse for indulging in thinking during meditation. When our mind surrenders and integrates with the inner state, thinking is minimal and occurs in slow motion, causing spaces to open between thoughts where silence can prevail. Even when thinking occurs, one should continue to dwell in unbroken unity with the state prior to thought.

the two-fold internalization of consciousness

Because our essence leaks into the state of forgetfulness when the mind is exteriorized, the withdrawal of consciousness is an absolute requirement to enter the state of meditation. The withdrawal of con­sciousness has both horizontal and vertical orientations: in the hori­zontal withdrawal, consciousness turns back to its non-dual presence of self-luminous I am; in the vertical withdrawal it is rerouted into the state of being, which counteracts the upwards movement of the mind and life force. The horizontal internalization is a function of self-attention; the vertical internalization, of our surrender to the inner state. Unless we realize the two-fold withdrawal of conscious­ness, we cannot become absorbed in the self.

Awakening to awareness through the horizontal withdrawal of the mind is our point of entry into the depth of the now. If one prac­tices vertical surrender without first having obtained ones true pres­ence, the mind will remain fundamentally fragmented and lack any continuity of intelligence and consciousness within the experience of being. Only the soul can enter the inner dimension. It is the unity of the horizontal and vertical internalizations that enables us to enter the inner reality and realize the wholeness of the soul.

meditation and boredom

Boredom is an interesting state of mind. It inspires us to act, but never allows us to rest in contentment. We get bored when there is nothing to do and when we lose interest in what we are doing. The deepest kind of boredom, however, is boredom with being. Due to the shallow nature of the human personality, to ‘just be’ is a tedious and dull experience. It is not the soul that is bored with being, but the mind, for the mind lives through movement and is unable to rest. The moment the mind stops being occupied or entertained it gets restless and irritated. The monotony of being is simply intolerable. The repetitiveness of each moment devoid of activity creates a feel­ing of stuckness that sends an immediate signal that it is time to ‘do’ something. This very unconscious mechanism is at the root of our fundamental resistance to being.

Some meditators believe that they do not get bored in medita­tion because they are having such a ‘deep experience’. In reality, however, they have not yet begun to meditate. Unless one has passed through the experience of utter existential boredom, one has not entered true meditation. Boredom cannot be by-passed; it must be experienced fully before one can move beyond it. Ultimately, medi­tation can be said to have two sides: boredom and bliss. The degree to which we experience boredom or bliss reflects the depth of our absorption in reality.

The presence of boredom in meditation points to the fact that we are so dependent upon receiving constant stimuli from the world or our own mind, we feel frustrated by the non-happening of the now. Boredom, in its essence, is the pure suffering of existing as a separate consciousness. We confront the most acute sense of separateness when faced with inactivity, because action serves as the primary distraction to our claustrophobic self-consciousness. Boredom is actually the basic background of our human existence, but we only experience it directly in meditation, for here we are called to suspend our involvement with the phenomenal reality and renounce all refer­ence points apart from being. In the space of just being, we confront our fundamental boredom, naked and alone.

The best way out of boredom is to recognize the profound value of being. However, as we cannot appreciate what we do not experi­ence, an unconscious person who lacks any real experience of being has no way to relate to the positive essence of boredom. What the average meditator translates as ‘being’ is but the frail touch of each moment, a vague reverberation of the now. He has no inner space within which to connect to something deeper than his personality and link himself with the meaningfulness of existence beyond bore­dom. To move out of the boredom inherent to separate conscious­ness we must enter the realm of meditation. In sitting meditation, we channel the energy of the mind through the portal of inactivity into abidance in the inner state. When we reach a significant level of absorption and the mind surrenders, boredom begins to dissolve into the bliss of being.

To transcend boredom does not mean that one never gets bored anymore. Boredom is an indivisible part of meditation as long as one has not fully merged with the inner realm. To transform boredom is to awaken a profound sense of endurance within the experience of the impersonal void of each now. As boredom arises in each now, one surrenders within it. One has to accept and befriend boredom before it can be transmuted and absorbed by its source.

Our experience of boredom evolves as we come ever closer to our original absence and realize the emptiness of self. As our abid­ance in reality deepens, our sense of boredom becomes relaxed and transparent. It no longer creates restless energies and agitation, but reflects the absolute patience of existence.

It is a common experience that the moment a new layer of depth within the inner state is reached, the sense of boredom is temporarily suspended, for the observer feels tangible bliss as a result of having shifted beyond his previous state. However, as time goes by, the nov­elty of the experience wears off. No matter what depth the observer reaches, his initial fascination and excitement inevitably wane and he gets bored all over again. To go beyond boredom through the medium of the spiritual path is not to seek new states, but to resolve boredom’s primal cause, our separateness. As we mature we realize that boredom cannot be overcome by intensifying our inner experi­ence, for it is not a reflection of the lack of depth of our state, but of our inability to merge. Only when the observer surrenders and becomes one with the inner realm can boredom be dissolved, for he is not only the victim of boredom, but its cause. It is our disap­pearance into reality that ultimately takes us beyond boredom, for it liberates us from the very one who is subject to both boredom and its absence.

meditation: the means and the goal

Meditation is a gradual path based on sudden awakening. Each moment of meditation points to reality, but the complete realization of that reality is the outcome of a gradual process. This seeming paradox needs to be grasped in order for us to comprehend the true meaning of a practice that itself transcends the dualities of path and goal, effort and effortlessness, doing and being. Meditation is both the means and the goal, for though it has its roots in the perfection of pure being, it must unfold in time before it can reflect this perfection in our actual experience.

If we see meditation only as a means to an end our meditation is not pure, because we are using it to achieve goals that are external to the immediate. The very spirit of meditation is based on surrender to the now. However, if we perceive meditation solely as an end in itself we lose our connection to the whole process of transformation and inner evolution.

Meditation is the goal in and of itself, for its very nature is abid­ance in the now; it is also the means to reach that which, though of the now, is far beyond our initial realization of the now. The now is indeed the ground of pure subjectivity upon which we abide, but our relative ability to access it does not guarantee that we have reached its true depth — our present experience of the now may be shallow. To fully realize the dimension of the now we must go through the process of expansion and awakening until we can merge with the realm of pure subjectivity. Ultimately, we can see meditation as a practice in which the goal and the means are fully intertwined. As the goal, meditation reflects our fundamental union with the real­ity of the now; as the means, it signifies the process of reaching its fathomless depths.