An Open Secret

Meditation is an open secret. Its essence is hidden to those who are ignorant, but clear to those who have passed through the gateway to pure subjectivity. To meditate is to abide in reality, anchored in the ground of existence. It is a natural state, the foundation of spiritual sanity and integrity. The path of meditation is not any particular way; it is the only way - the pathless path to the heart of the now.

The Meaning of Meditation

The common concept of 'meditation' has no relation whatsoever to knowledge of the inner realm. Most people incorrectly assume that meditation is a mind-based activity involving concentration upon mental, aural or physical phenomena such as visualization, mantra repetition or conscious breathing. Pure meditation, however, is none of these performances - it is an entirely new dimension of existence and consciousness.

The original meaning of the term meditation was, 'thinking about', suggesting some kind of conscious reflection, and did not refer to the reality beyond thought. To meditate was to use the power of the mind in a focused way to attain goals confined to mental reality alone. In order to avoid associating meditation with deep thinking, some meditation masters used the term 'contemplation' instead of meditation. However, even the word contemplation, which is drawn from the vocabulary of mystical traditions, has mental connotations. To contemplate is to reflect upon religious, sacred or spiritual objects. Contemplation is therefore also an imperfect word to accurately reflect the reality of pure meditation. Unfortunately, because language has been created by the collective mind that dwells exclusively in the reality of appearances, it cannot convey the essence of pure subjectivity. Consequently, throughout history, mystics and spiritual masters of various traditions have had to compromise, attributing uncommon meanings and explanations to common words, or otherwise inventing entirely new terms to try to communicate the true nature of meditation. Their challenge was to transmit the understanding of a completely new domain of being to which the mind itself cannot enter - the objectless realm of pure reality - to the ordinary mind that functions entirely in objectified reality. Because the nature of meditation is beyond our ordinary perception, it is not enough to use words to express its profound meaning; we have to go beyond words to experience in true silence that to what they point: our very self.

The Only Medicine

Meditation is a revolutionary withdrawal of the mind's energy from thought to pure awareness and being; it is total attention given to the source of the now. Meditation is the only medicine for the disease of unconsciousness without which the transformation of the mind and the transmutation of human consciousness cannot occur.

Because the force of ignorance is so strong, we have to use special means in order to shift the balance of power within our consciousness so that the state of meditation can manifest. Sitting in meditation is the basis of meditation practice, the sitting posture itself symbolizing our complete dedication to the inner state. Through the practice of concentration and relaxation while sitting, we gradually establish our attention in the state beyond the mind and open the door to being.

Sitting in meditation and maintaining a meditative state in action have a profound impact on our whole energetic system, brain and various inner channels. Indeed, meditation embraces both body and mind, bringing our whole psychosomatic existence into complete attention to the essence of being. The birth of the inner state signifies a quantum leap in our existence, and meditation is the ground upon which this conversion takes place.

From Illusion to Reality

The paradox of meditation practice is that even though it points beyond thought, prior to our awakening it remains entirely confined to the mind. The one who begins his practice is in fact indistinguishable from the mind itself, for his essence lies dormant and his sense of self is completely identified with chaotic, compulsive thinking. How can that which is unreal, ignorant, false, and which itself must be transcended, attain reality? The saving grace of each meditator is his 'minimum soul', the trace of me that links him with the dimension of I am. This sense of me can be considered to be the minimum reality within the unreality of one's unconscious self. By empowering his subjective presence, crystallizing the observer and establishing his existence in the state prior to thought, an adept gradually moves his sense of identity from illusion to reality.

The Practice of Meditation

Before we can open up experientially to the state of meditation, we need to face the fragmented condition of our mind, its restless and unconscious nature that blocks us from recognizing the heart of pure subjectivity. Meditation is an essential tool to integrate our mind, solidify our presence, transcend mechanical thinking and move our existence into the inner state. Our work changes and evolves as we grow roots into the inner realm and become increasingly aligned with the natural state of meditation. However, to enter the dimension of meditation in a real way and establish oneself in the realm of objectless consciousness, a beginner has to commit to the cultivation of inner discipline and formal practice.

Sitting Meditation: Although meditation ultimately transcends any bodily point of reference, to enter the state of pure subjectivity we must centralize our dispersed existence in the strict form of sitting meditation. Because in meditation we move beyond the body through the body, we must respect the state of our energy and the condition of our physical form, for they greatly influence the ease of our entry into the inner realm.

Sitting meditation should be practiced by assuming a solid posture in which one sits on an elevated pillow to help keep the spine erect. If possible, one should sit with the legs crossed and the knees comfortably resting on the ground. If one is not supple enough to cross the legs in one of the variations of the lotus posture, one should seek another suitable position that assures an erect spine and physical stability. The placement of the hands and fingers in mudras bears little significance and hence is not indicated here. We should not concern ourselves with too many details, for they only burden our meditation with concepts and mental constructs.

As we gain more mastery in the art of meditation, we need not follow the above recommendations literally, but can sit in meditation in any comfortable position, even on a chair. However, prior to becoming completely one with the state of meditation, formal sitting holds significant benefits for a practitioner. A sitting posture with the spine erect instantaneously activates alertness, opens energy flow, generates inner strength, and offers solid, yet comfortable support for the physical body. The meditation posture exemplifies a perfect unity of relaxation and stability through which we can transcend our body-reference and enter the realm of being.

Time and length of meditation: There are no fixed rules regarding the length of each sitting, but in general, meditation should last up to one hour. One should certainly meditate daily, preferably in the morning and the evening; additionally, it is important to always find time for a short meditation just before going to sleep in order to integrate meditative consciousness with the subconscious mind.

Apart from daily practice, one must occasionally sit in the more concentrated form of silent meditation retreats, where one can accumulate more energy to establish oneself in the inner state, or to deepen the state already present. A retreat can be done alone or in group context. During retreat, one needs to sit between 6-8 hours a day. The length of a retreat should suit one's internal needs, but it usually confined to one, three, seven, ten or twenty one days.

Walking Meditation: Between sitting sessions on retreat, one should practice walking meditation to move the body and energy, and further integrate meditation with activity. Walking meditation is the first step in extending our meditative consciousness into daily life; it is meditation in action or 'living' meditation. One can walk very slowly, quickly or just naturally. What counts is our internal concentration and the ability to maintain in activity the internal state we have reached during sitting meditation. If one is unable to cultivate self-remembrance or abide in the inner state during walking, one should practice either mindfulness of each step or conscious breathing. However, the deepest expression of walking meditation is unconditional abidance in the state of pure subjectivity that itself transcends the polarities of sitting and walking, repose and action.

Breathing: A meditator has to know how to breathe. The way we breathe is a reflection of our consciousness; a direct manifestation of our physical, psychological and spiritual well-being. When we are lost in the mind and disconnected from inner peace and harmony, our breathing is shallow and limited to the chest. The more deeply we abide in our true nature, the deeper our breathing becomes. Correct breathing takes place from the lower belly and involves complete exhalation. In order to balance our breathing, we must drop our existence into the depth of being and become one with the breath. Often a certain opening and healing of the diaphragm are necessary to unlock our breath, for this is a place in the body where we accumulate tensions, fears, anger, and power issues. When contracted, the diaphragm does not allow us to expand our belly so that we may inhale freely and completely.

The first step in our work with breath is usually the practice of conscious breathing through which we bring relaxed awareness to our body and sense of being. It is essential to do this in a natural and comfortable way, for if we are too self-conscious of the body and breath we can actually disrupt our natural breathing and become tense and agitated. To bring true consciousness to the natural act of breathing, we surrender our awareness to the breath and do not try to control it from the place of an observer; to transform our breathing we have to merge with the breath on the level of our consciousness and existence.

Eyes Open or Closed: It is a matter of preference whether we sit in meditation with our eyes open or closed. As we tend to leak consciousness through the eyes and become distracted by visual signals from our surroundings, the most common approach is to keep the eyes closed. The advantage of having closed eyes is that we have more energy to focus inside. The disadvantage, especially for a beginner, is that we daydream or fall asleep more easily. Another possible drawback of meditating with closed eyes is that we can develop an addiction to various states of bliss or quietude and begin to perceive the outer world as a threat to our own private peace. From this point of view, we can say that to mediate with open eyes is on some level more 'real', because this way we avoid the pitfall of spiritual escapism.

Meditation with open eyes generates more alertness and enhances our ability to integrate our inner experience with the external world. But beyond that, closing the eyes in meditation is more logical, because our aim is to withdraw attention from the seen to the seer. Closing the eyes gives us more force to dive deeper inside and merge with the inner realm. If a meditator is unable to internalize his whole consciousness with eyes open, he may become stuck on the surface of the now. In such a case, it is best to close the eyes to generate more internal energy and establish the necessary depth of being.

There also are benefits to alternating meditations with open and closed eyes to keep the balance between exclusive surrender to the inner state and the integration of that experience with consciousness of the outside world. Ultimately, we should not restrict ourselves to a single approach, but remain flexible and adapt our practice to suit our present needs and natural tendencies. When we finally merge with the inner realm and begin to experience it as not separate from the outer realm, we realize that having the eyes open or closed makes no difference from the standpoint of reality as a whole.

The Direction of Attention: Our relative consciousness functions by creating endless points of reference. In order to exist and operate, it must constantly relate to something or other. It never ceases to grasp at objects both external and internal. Due to this total instability, we are unable to experience any real clarity and calmness. For this reason, before we can transform the chaotic state of the mind, we must train it to maintain a single point of reference, for instance by watching the breath. By developing one-pointed attention we harness the mind's energy so that it can be channeled towards our awakening to the non-referential state of being.

The fundamental questions for a beginner in meditation are how to cope with the commotion of the mind and where to direct attention. Due to the physical inactivity of sitting immobile, the mind can become even more disturbed and chaotic in meditation than usual. In the absence of a host, the mind cannot bear a vacuum and must compulsively populate the space of consciousness with endless thoughts. The only way to pacify and transcend our mental agitation is to gain the ability to behold and embrace it from a level of our existence that lies deeper than the mind itself. The mind cannot be conquered by the mind, and any effort to control or repress thinking only increases its restless nature. We should never struggle with the mind, but rather accept it as it is from a place of detached observation and being. Unless we bring more consciousness to the mind and embrace it with the light of our presence, it cannot be transmuted into a force that is aligned with our spiritual awakening.

We can approach the directing of our attention in meditation in three ways: towards the mind's activity, towards a single object of concentration or, beyond it, to our subjective essence. By directing our attention towards the mind in vigilant self-observation, we develop disidentification, understanding and awareness; by paying one-pointed attention to areas of our reality other than the mind, such as breathing or bodily awareness, we develop concentration, calm and mindfulness; but stepping directly out of the mind by turning our attention back to our true center, we radically transcend objectified concentration or directed attention in the sudden awakening to our fundamental awareness.

The practice of watching the mind, one of the universal methods of meditation, is the first step in transcending our habitual and unconscious identification with arising thoughts. Through this method we strengthen the position of the observer, creating a stable counterforce to the continuous stream of thoughts invading our consciousness. The observer is the aspect of the ego responsible for bringing integrity to the functioning of our mind and linking us with the essence of our innate subjectivity. By watching arising thoughts, yet remaining uninvolved, we create a space in our intelligence to disidentify from our own subconsciousness instead of just thinking mechanically. However, though this approach is beneficial, it cannot bring us to the true state of meditation. It is a technique that serves only as a preparation for becoming more conscious, and at some stage must be transcended. Self-observation or detached watching cannot take us beyond the mental realm, because the watcher himself is a faculty of the very mind he watches. It is only when the observer links himself to the essence of awareness that he can gain the necessary depth and solidity to move out of the vicious circle of thinking, identifying, observing, disidentifying and thinking again.

In the approach to meditation that emphasizes the development of one-pointed attention, our relative awareness is trained to constantly focus on an object external to the mind, to keep it from being distracted and lost in thought. To develop this skill, we may initially practice conscious breathing, feeling how our belly rises and falls with each breath, or in a more advanced method, we direct our attention to the inner space of our abidance. Instead of working directly with the mind, we channel our attention towards conscious repose in being or the heart. Although we cannot fully pacify the mind in this way, we open enough space beyond the mind to experience a level of tranquility and immersion. By expanding into being, we become empowered to work with the mind in a much more efficient and conscious way. Even so, the practice of one-pointed attention is still a mental exertion confined to the mind. Attention is not awareness, but its functional expression. Because it is fundamentally objectless, for awareness to be realized, attention has to turn back to its source.

Watching the mind, cultivating mindfulness, or bypassing the mind by directing attention to areas of our existence other than awareness itself, do not allow us to reach true and abiding peace. To transcend the mind in a real way, we have to illuminate it by giving birth to the center of awareness. A meditator who is spiritually mature should strive to awaken his essence beyond the mind from the very start, paying attention not to an object of attention, but to its very subject. When the energy of our mind turns towards the original source of its attention, we enter the domain of consciousness without content. The essence of the mind is not thought, but objectless attention, the core of our subjective existence untouched by the coming and going of thoughts. The birth of pure awareness allows us to shift out of the mind into the essential nature of our luminous presence, the entryway to the natural state of pure meditation.

Pure Meditation: True meditation is beyond directing attention to any area - it is an objectless state of being. Attention actually has to become absorbed in the depths of the now for the state of meditation to manifest. Otherwise, it is the very thing that separates us from our positive absence: unity with the inner realm. To embody the fullness of our abidance in the state of meditation, we have to pass through the gate of pure subjectivity and submit our existence to the beyond. To enter the state of meditation, a meditator must first move beyond the mind by establishing his attention in the center of awareness, and then surrender his attention by dwelling vertically in content-free awareness. Now he can surrender beyond awareness by merging with being, finally actualizing the state of pure meditation, the natural space of absorption in existence.

Just Sitting: The purest form of meditation practice is 'just sitting'. Just sitting is at once a practice and our natural state of abidance in the now, for though it must be actualized through effort, it is intrinsic to each moment of being. By cultivating the mode of just sitting, we attune our existence to the natural repose of reality as it is. The most sublime aspiration of a meditator is just to be, just to sit. In just sitting, it is not our body that sits, but our awareness; our attention is at rest, absorbed in the vertical plane of pure being.

We practice just sitting by continuously returning to the condition of 'sitting mind'. We grow in our consciousness, establish an unbroken presence, and drop our awareness into the depths of reality. The practice of just sitting involves an element of transparent exertion through which the state of just being can fully manifest and reach unconditional naturalness.

Beyond the Mind

Meditation is the subtle art of the mind's transcendence. A correct attitude towards arising thoughts is essential to regain our autonomy from the mind and awaken the state of meditation, for they are the main distraction in our effort to reach our deeper self. In meditation, we should neither indulge in thinking nor battle with the mind. Meditation is not an absence of thoughts, but rather an unbroken continuity of being undistracted by arising thoughts. As a thought arises, we neither accept nor reject it, for acceptance and rejection are energies linked to the mind itself, and therefore cannot take us beyond it. When we accept a thought, we fuel it with our affirmation; when we reject a thought, we fuel it with our denial. The moment our me is not involved in thinking, a thought cannot sustain itself and dissolves, for it has no energy of its own. The approach of neither accepting nor rejecting thinking, however, is limited in its power to take us beyond the mind. Unless our me has a stable place beyond the mind to anchor itself, we remain caught in a wheel of arising and disappearing thoughts towards which we must constantly cultivate our limited non-identification.

It is the nature of relative consciousness that it must be conscious of the objective in order to exist. In an unconscious person, consciousness recreates itself through psychological and phenomenal awareness. The mind cannot exist in emptiness. It must fill up the space of consciousness with objects, thoughts and impressions to maintain its status quo. The moment it is faced with the impasse of inactivity, it generates boredom or falls asleep, but even then, it constantly dreams. No wonder it is so common to drift and daydream during meditation - the mind becomes stifled by stillness, and seeks release through other outlets.

Although the crystallization of attention and the cultivating of observation are the essential means to go beyond our mechanical mind, they are not enough to transfigure the construct of our consciousness. Our consciousness has to become conscious of something other than thinking, other than observing, other than objectifying itself. We have to give it the ultimate object - its own subjectivity. In the same instant that we neither accept nor reject an arising thought, we must become aware of the pristine space that dwells at the root of the mind - awareness itself. The moment we pay total attention to our innate presence, the chain of thinking is broken and awareness without content alone prevails.

Usually, a beginner loses his focus and by force of habit leaks his consciousness into thinking, objectifying his sense of me in the mind. However, whenever he returns moment to moment to his center of awareness and gradually anchors his attention in pure subjectivity, the whole structure of his consciousness becomes increasingly centralized in being rather than thinking. By giving our consciousness the supreme object of our presence, we decondition it from pursuing the inferior objects of relative reality. As we gradually learn how to live through pure consciousness, our mind surrenders to its host, the ground of I am - the soul.

Unless the ghost of the mechanical mind is laid to rest by becoming reabsorbed in its original awareness, we will never enter the realm of meditation and become an integrated whole. It does not mean that thinking stops entirely upon stabilizing the center of awareness - a certain amount of thinking is a natural part of our global functioning. However, when our me becomes centralized in the essence beyond the mind, the arising of thoughts is in harmony with our existence, the exalted consciousness of silence and presence. Thinking that takes place in an unbroken space of awareness is an exercise in clear intelligence, a positive expression of our meditative consciousness. While in the initial stages of practice we are engaged in a horizontal struggle between becoming lost in the mind and returning to presence, as our practice matures, the movement of thoughts no longer occurs outside of our essence, but is contained in pure awareness.

Prior to the Presence and Absence of Thought

To uncover the true nature of awareness demands a great deal of precision and sensitivity. For a beginner fully identified with the mind, a momentary gap in thinking is the closest thing to a feeling of peace, so he translates it as a meditative experience. However, to dwell in the suspension of thought is to cling to a false experience of emptiness that is not grounded in pure subjectivity. To meditate is not to grasp at the absence of thoughts but to abide prior to their presence and absence in the domain of being and non-perceptional consciousness

Try as he might, the observer cannot unveil the inner essence, because our true self cannot be grasped through mental exertion. Though he may contemplate the interval between thoughts in the futile hope of discovering the nature of thoughtlessness, the observer does nothing but objectify the absence of thought as the seen. He watches the non-existence of thoughts and perceives it as a vacancy opening up in front of him instead of becoming vacant himself by watching nothing. To watch no-thing is awareness, wakefulness without a reference point.

The observer cannot capture consciousness unless he stops seeking it outside of his own existence. He must renounce his mental exertion and 'stand still' in awareness to discover his true nature. He must surrender to the very awareness from which he arises in order to obtain the supreme insight into his true self. Empty awareness is not found between thoughts, but prior to them; it is not found within the mind, for it is the background of both the thought and the thinker. Awareness cannot be grasped by perception and reflection - to know it is to become it.

The Multilayered Mind in Meditation

Meditators are often confused about the relationship between the arising of thoughts, the role of the observer and their meditative state. We can reach clarity in this matter only by understanding the multilayered nature of our consciousness and how it coexists with the ground of I am. Before we can reach a balanced understanding of the relationship between thoughts and the inner state, we must become conscious of the various ways the mind can operate during our meditation practice.

The mind is a living organism of intelligence that must maintain a complex relationship with the whole of our consciousness for the sake of our basic sanity. The capacity of the conscious mind to assist in our meditation directly corresponds to the depth of our spiritual awakening. If we are totally lost in the mind, it cannot possibly serve our evolution into the state of meditation. To empower the intelligence of the mind so it can become a transformative force in our consciousness, we must first realize our spiritual essence. By 'essence' we mean at this point primarily the state of pure awareness, but if a meditator has reached a deeper awakening, the essence would actually signify the whole of the inner state, and ultimately the soul. The relationship between the essence of I am and intelligence is reciprocal: in our initial effort to enter the state of meditation, intelligence supports the growth of our consciousness and the awakening of the essence; through the actualized essence, intelligence gains the necessary power to integrate the whole of the mind with the inner state.

Since it is the conscious mind that bridges our unconscious self with our conscious abidance in the inner state, its role is of paramount importance in the process of awakening. It is the mind, when aware of itself, that engenders the conscious sense of me, the observer, so fundamental to our inner growth into being and understanding. Without activating the function of the observer, we cannot transcend our subconscious reality and enter the state of meditation. Only when this function has been fulfilled, and our abidance in the inner realm fully realized, can we begin to surrender and merge the observer with universal consciousness.

To help us better understand the complex nature of the mind and its evolving role in our meditation practice, we will now describe the various ways the conscious mind can behave in its relationship to both our essence and subconscious reality as experienced by all meditators in the process of awakening. It must be noted that up to the fourth stage, the meditator is still unawakened to his essence.

1. The conscious mind lost in the subconscious, or the subconscious alone: The basic condition of forgetfulness - attention is absent and one is lost in thought.

2. The conscious mind coexisting with the subconscious: One experiences a degree of presence within the mechanical activity of the mind - thinking is divided into conscious and subconscious.

3. The conscious mind aware of the subconscious: One becomes mindful of mechanical thinking, and the observer develops a sense of distance from the mind. However, unless one has awakened the center of awareness, and consciousness has been largely transformed, awareness of the subconscious does not put a stop to the momentum of the thinking mind. In spite of being aware of arising thoughts at times, a beginner is bound to think constantly. Only when awareness has fully matured does the act of becoming conscious of the subconscious lead to the instantaneous cessation of thinking.

4. The conscious mind alone: One is fully present within the thinking process, yet not aware of the essence.

5. The conscious mind aware of the essence coexisting with conscious thinking: Awareness of the essence and conscious thinking occurs simultaneously.

6. The conscious mind aware of the essence coexisting with subconscious thinking : Though the observer is connected to the awareness of his essence, unfocussed semi-conscious thinking takes place on the periphery of consciousness.

7. The conscious mind aware of the essence becomes aware of the subconscious: Parallel to the third mode, but here the meditator already abides in awareness, so there is more power to drop thinking and surrender the mind.

8. The conscious mind, aware of the essence and consciously thinking, fully surrenders to the essence: While consciously thinking, one renounces all thinking and surrenders to the essence.

9. The conscious mind aware of the essence alone: One's intelligence abides in pure awareness and the mind stops. This state can occur on two levels: in the lower level, the observer is still separated from his essence and the ego remains the primal experiencer; in the higher level, the observer is merged with the inner state and his consciousness of I am becomes universal.

A meditator can be said to have reached the mature state of meditation when he experiences any of the last five modes of consciousness. Although to be lost in the subconscious is a relatively negative experience, minimal subconscious movement is a natural part of the functioning of the human mind, and therefore acceptable as long as one abides firmly in the inner state and is able to instantly return to conscious presence and surrender the mind. This should not be used, however, as an excuse to indulge in thinking during meditation. When our mind surrenders and integrates with the inner state, thinking is minimal and occurs in slow motion, opening space between thoughts where silence prevails. Even during the occurrence of thoughts, one should continue to dwell in unbroken unity with the state prior to thought.

Remembrance and Surrender

The two main hindrances in meditation are forgetfulness and lack of absorption. A great deal of patience and dedication are required to undo the objectifying tendencies of the mind. To transform our fragmented state, we must cultivate both the unbroken remembrance of our essence and surrender to the now. Remembrance and surrender are two complementary aspects of meditation practice; without remembrance we remain lost in the mind; without surrender we cannot access the depths of the now. To awaken the permanent state of meditation, attention has to be continually locked onto the essence of awareness, and awareness dropped into the vertical plane of being.

The Two-fold Internalization

Because our essence leaks into the state of forgetfulness due to the externalization of the mind, the withdrawal of consciousness is an absolute requirement to enter the state of meditation. There are two orientations of this withdrawal, horizontal and vertical. In the horizontal withdrawal, consciousness turns back to its non-dual presence of self-luminous I am; in the vertical withdrawal, the upwards movement of our mind and life-force are rerouted downwards to the state of being. The horizontal internalization is a function of self-attention, the vertical internalization, of our surrender to the inner state. Unless one reaches this two-fold withdrawal of consciousness, one cannot attain absorption in the self.

To surrender one must be present. In order to enter reality, it is insufficient to be present only in the mind by developing concentration or paying attention to being. Only the soul can enter the inner dimension, and without the stability of I am, one has no soul. Awakening to awareness through the horizontal withdrawal of the mind is the point of entry into the depth of the now. If one practices vertical surrender without having obtained his true presence, the mind remains fundamentally fragmented, lacking any continuity of intelligence and consciousness within the experience of being. The unity of horizontal and vertical internalization enables us to enter the inner reality and realize the wholeness of the soul.

Boredom and Meditation

Boredom is an interesting state of mind. It inspires our motivation for action, but never allows us to rest in contentment. We get bored when there is nothing to do or when we lose interest in what we are doing. The deepest meaning of boredom, however, is dissatisfaction with being. Due to its shallow experience of reality, to 'just be' is a tedious and dull experience for a human personality. It is not the soul that is bored with being, but the mind, for the mind lives only through movement and action, and is unable to rest in the now. The moment the mind stops being occupied or entertained, it gets restless and irritated. The monotony of being is simply intolerable. The repetitiveness of each moment devoid of activity creates a feeling of stuckness that sends an immediate signal that it is time to 'do' something. This very unconscious mechanism is at the root of our fundament resistance to being.

Some claim they never get bored, even if there is nothing to do. In truth, they simply do not register their ever-present sense of boredom. In most cases, they do not feel bored because they are either too lethargic or constantly lost in the mind; their mind either spaces out or fills up the space of each moment with incessant thinking, dreaming and fantasizing. On the other hand, some meditators believe that they do not get bored in meditation because they are having 'such a great time'. In reality, they have not yet started to meditate. Unless one had passed through the experience of deep, existential boredom, one has not entered true meditation. Boredom cannot be by-passed; it must be fully experienced and digested before one can move beyond it. Meditation can be said to have two sides: boredom and bliss. To which degree we experience boredom and to which bliss, reflects the depth of our absorption in reality.

The existence of boredom points to the fact that we are so dependent on receiving constant stimuli from the world or our own mind, that in their absence we instantly lose all sense of meaning and purpose - we feel deflated by the non-happening of the now. Boredom, in essence, is the pure suffering of existing as a separate consciousness. We confront the most acute sense of separateness when faced with inactivity, because action serves as the basic distraction to our claustrophobic self-consciousness. Although boredom is in actuality the basic background of our human existence, we face it directly only in meditation, for here we are called to suspend our phenomenal involvement and renounce all reference points except for being. In the space of just being, we are naked and alone, forced to confront our basic aimlessness.

The only nourishing way out of boredom is to recognize the profound value of being. However, as we cannot appreciate what we do not experience, an unconscious person who lacks any real experience of being has no way to relate to the positive essence of boredom. What an average individual translates as 'being' is but the frail touch of each moment, a vague reverberation of the now. He does not abide in being, but is exteriorized from the depth of reality, stuck on its surface. He has no inner space within which to connect to something deeper than his personality, and link himself with the meaningfulness of existence beyond boredom. To move out of the boredom inherent to separate consciousness, we must enter the realm of meditation and being. In sitting meditation, we channel the energy of the mind through the portal of inactivity into our abidance in the inner state. When we reach a significant level of absorption and our mind surrenders, we begin to dissolve our boredom in the bliss of being.

To transcend boredom does not mean that one never gets bored anymore. Boredom is an indivisible part of meditation as long as one has not fully merged with the inner realm. To transform boredom is to awaken a profound sense of endurance within the experience of each now. In each now, as boredom arises, one surrenders within it. One has to accept boredom and befriend it before it can be transmuted and absorbed by its very source, the impersonal void of the now. Our experience of boredom evolves as we come ever closer to our original absence, and realize the emptiness of self. As we deepen our abidance in reality, the sense of boredom becomes increasingly relaxed and transparent. It no longer creates restless energies and agitation, but reflects the absolute patience of existence.

It is a common experience that the moment we reach a new layer of depth within the inner state, the sense of boredom is temporarily suspended, for our observer feels a very tangible bliss and appreciation coming from the shift beyond his previous state. However, as time goes by, the novelty of the experience wears off, and boredom arises once again. The relative solution for this predicament is to stimulate the observer by reaching an even deeper state, an even deeper bliss. But no matter what depth he reaches, his initial fascination and excitement inevitably wane, and he becomes bored all over again. To go beyond boredom through the medium of the spiritual path is not to seek after new states, but to resolve its primal cause, our separateness. As we contemplate the problem of boredom more deeply, we realize that it cannot be solved by intensifying our inner experience, because it lies not in the depth of our state, but our inability to merge with the inner realm.

The observer is the victim of boredom as well as its very cause. Only when he begins to surrender and become one with the inner realm can boredom be dissolved. To go fully beyond boredom we must arrive at the state of transcendence and samadhi. Ultimately, it is our own disappearance into reality that takes us beyond boredom, for it liberates us from the very one who is subjected to both boredom and its absence.

The Science of Transformation

Meditation is an exact science of inner transformation and awakening based on clear laws governing the mind and human consciousness. It is the science of self-knowledge, the science of awareness, the science of surrender, the science of the inner states, the science of oneness. In the practice of meditation, we gradually awaken different aspects of the inner state, coming ever closer to the natural state, pure meditation. To awaken this natural state of being, the mind and energy must be transformed and aligned with the light of I am.

The average mind cannot enter meditation, because of its perpetual state of chaos and unconsciousness, and lack of any presence or connection to its essence. Such a mind must be tamed and transmuted in order for it to open to the dimension of pure subjectivity. Through the practice of meditation, we develop concentration and mindfulness, and prepare the ground for an opening to the inner state. We pacify restless energy and emotions, and align the subtle bodies. An unconscious and fragmented individual cannot experience true peace, stillness and clarity, just as a house with its blinds drawn does not receive the light of the sun. Opening to the beyond demands a total change of the past self and a profound activation of our spiritual potential. No transformation of this magnitude is possible without the practice of meditation.

Meditation: The Means and the Goal

Meditation is a gradual path based on sudden awakening. Each moment of meditation points to reality, but the complete realization of that reality is the outcome of a gradual process. This seeming paradox needs to be grasped in order to comprehend the true meaning of a practice that itself transcends the duality of path and goal, effort and effortlessness, doing and being. Meditation is both the means and the goal, for though it has its roots in the perfection of pure being, it must unfold in time before it can reflect this perfection in our actual experience.

If we see meditation only as a means to an end, our meditation is no longer pure, because we are using it to achieve goals that are external to the immediate; the very spirit of meditation is based on surrender to the now. However, if we perceive sitting meditation solely as an end in itself, we lose our connection to the whole process of transformation and inner evolution.

Meditation is the goal in and of itself, for its very nature is abidance in the now; meditation is also the means to reach that which, though of the now, is far beyond our initial realization of the now. Although the now is the ground of pure subjectivity upon which we abide, our relative ability to access it does not guarantee that we have reached its true depth - our present experience of the now may be shallow. To fully realize the dimension of the now we must go through the process of expansion and awakening until we can merge with the realm of pure subjectivity. Meditation is a practice in which the goal and the means are completely intertwined. As the goal, meditation reflects our fundamental union with the reality of the now; as the means, it signifies the process of reaching its fathomless depths.